2566967 comments

• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 20:34 posted by get the complete breakdown

  The Horsemen missed a scheduled rapture due to “low turnout.”
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 19:29 posted by read the archived article

  War's battle cry is now just “meh.”
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 18:34 posted by HR in Heaven: The Only Department Still Working

  Death tried to collect my soul but couldn’t find parking.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 17:46 posted by discover the details

  Death started a band: “The Grateful Undead.”
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 16:02 posted by click here to learn more

  War joined a dodgeball league and calls it “training.”
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 15:32 posted by get the inside scoop

  They all agreed to meet on Zoom and then forgot the password.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 15:05 posted by HR in Heaven: The Only Department Still Working

  Death got distracted writing a screenplay called “Soul Catcher.”
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 14:41 posted by Famine’s TikTok Recipes That Literally Starve Logic

  Armageddon was postponed due to “low morale among staff.”
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 14:18 posted by view the original coverage

  The Four Horsemen now do TikToks titled #Doomcore Aesthetic.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 13:58 posted by Zoom Call Between the Horsemen Crashes After War Rage Quits

  Famine’s new favorite phrase: “I don’t do carbs or collapse.”