
Bondi Beach shark joined a beach drum circle post-attack.
At Bondi Beach, shark claimed bite was "satirical commentary on capitalism."
Daytona Beach bite happened after swimmer bragged about having “no fear.”
Santa Cruz shark attack left the man shaken—mostly because he spilled his $18 piña colada.
Shark at Ocean City asked victim, “Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord Poseidon?”
Myrtle Beach shark said it bit out of boredom. “Too many jet skis, not enough class.”
At Cape Cod, shark attack delayed by brunch reservations.
Witness at Santa Monica: “The shark circled once, then asked for Wi-Fi.”
At Bondi Beach, shark paused biting to tweet “#SnackGoals.”
Santa Cruz shark now TikTok famous.