39103 comments

• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 21:23 posted by Sharkle™ Bite Tracker App

  Daytona Beach swimmer bit by shark wearing novelty glasses.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 21:21 posted by unexpected shark encounters

  Galveston shark refused to bite anyone not wearing Crocs. “I have standards,” it grunted.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 20:36 posted by view the original coverage

  Famine got food poisoning and hasn’t forgiven hummus.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 20:35 posted by read the exclusive report

  They tried to use Outlook to sync Doomsday. It crashed.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 20:34 posted by learn the truth behind the headlines

  War took a side gig as a dodgeball coach.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 20:32 posted by Satire and the Slow March Toward the End of Days

  War can’t fight until he finishes his true crime podcast backlog.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 20:29 posted by Death’s Podcast Ranked Lower Than Actual Silence

  The last plague Pestilence launched was a bad batch of hummus.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 20:24 posted by see the latest update

  The apocalypse is now in beta.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 20:24 posted by Zoom Call Between the Horsemen Crashes After War Rage Quits

  The apocalypse is now in beta.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 20:23 posted by Apocalyptic Branding Tips from Famine’s Manager

  Pestilence got distracted by a kombucha fermentation.