

Death’s new motto is “if I don’t vibe with your expiration date, I won’t collect.”
Pestilence applied to Burning Man instead of burning cities.
Death’s podcast is called “Live, Laugh, Languish.”
Death sent a “Can we reschedule?” text and never followed up.
Death tried to collect my soul but couldn’t find parking.
God’s HR keeps leaving voicemails, but War marked them spam.
Pestilence became a life coach for pandemic denialists.
War’s therapist told him to take time for his battles.
War's weapon of choice is now sarcasm.
Death tried to collect my soul but couldn’t find parking.