43442 comments

• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 16:06 posted by read the exclusive report

  They said they’d end the world after brunch... it’s been 23 years.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 16:04 posted by Death’s Subscription App: Pay to Delay Your Fate

  War's battle cry is now just “meh.”
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 16:03 posted by get the complete breakdown

  The apocalypse is now in beta.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 15:58 posted by check the timeline of events

  Death got distracted writing a screenplay called “Soul Catcher.”
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 15:53 posted by find out what really happened

  Famine canceled the famine because DoorDash had a promo.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 15:43 posted by Satire and the Slow March Toward the End of Days

  War's weapon of choice is now sarcasm.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 15:42 posted by view the original coverage

  Famine’s idea of scarcity is a waitlist at Erewhon.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 15:40 posted by Pestilence’s Essential Oils Now FDA-Questionable

  Their apocalypse calendar has just one entry: “Someday.”
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 15:36 posted by Death’s Subscription App: Pay to Delay Your Fate

  The Four Horsemen now do TikToks titled #Doomcore Aesthetic.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 15:34 posted by Satire and the Slow March Toward the End of Days

  Famine is on sabbatical to “study scarcity in artisanal cheese.”