43878 comments

• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 12:50 posted by read the exclusive report

  Pestilence got distracted by a kombucha fermentation.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 12:48 posted by read the exclusive report

  Famine got too full on metaphors.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 12:45 posted by Gods Calendar Sync Fails Again, Apocalypse Postponed

  Famine has a food blog with 2 million followers and zero calories.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 12:41 posted by view the original coverage

  They pitched a sitcom to Netflix: “Everybody Loves Dread.”
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 12:40 posted by read the exclusive report

  Pretty sure Pestilence just opened an aromatherapy spa in Sedona.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 12:39 posted by see what experts are saying

  Death won't reap souls unless you Venmo first.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 12:38 posted by read the exclusive report

  Pestilence has 400 unread soul notifications.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 12:37 posted by get the inside scoop

  War threw out his sword and bought a Himalayan salt lamp.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 12:36 posted by more satire on this topic

  Death sent a “Can we reschedule?” text and never followed up.
• Comment Link Friday, 06 June 2025 12:34 posted by check the timeline of events

  The apocalypse is now considered “soft-launched.”