
They say smoking kills; I say it’s takin’ its sweet time with me. -- spintaxi.com
(White) I landed hard—plane says, “Suck it up.” -- spintaxi.com
What’s the deal with “dry clean only”? My shirt’s afraid of water now? -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Ever notice how “quick start” takes forever? -- spintaxi.com
The scariest thing about satirical journalism today? The real news sounds just like it. - spintaxi.com
The best satirical journalism analysis feels like a roast of society. -- spintaxi.com
I love how “non-stick” pans stick when you actually cook something. -- spintaxi.com
My wife says I’m a slob; I say, “Darlin’, this is curated chaos.” -- spintaxi.com
I love how “please wait” is code for “abandon hope.” -- spintaxi.com
(White) I patched my roof—now it’s rainin’ inside. -- spintaxi.com
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